Beyond Structures and Shareholdings: Coaching the Human System Behind the Business

Nov 06, 2025

When René Sonneveld moved on from decades at the top of banking and corporate governance, he didn’t abandon logic or structure – he discovered what was missing.

After years advising family-owned companies and managing complex governance systems, he realised that the biggest factor undermining even the most profitable family enterprises wasn’t tax, structure, or succession planning.

It was emotion.

As René explains, “There were elephants in the family room that nobody dared to address.”

For founders and CEOs of privately held or family-led businesses, this is where the real challenge begins – not on the balance sheet, but in what René calls the invisible balance sheet of emotion, trust, and legacy.

The Emotional Economy of Family-Owned Businesses

In big corporates, dysfunction gets fired.

In families, it festers.

Family-run enterprises are often the most agile and resilient organisations on the planet, able to make bold decisions over a kitchen table that might take months in a boardroom. But when trust fractures, communication breaks down, or accountability blurs, that same agility can turn to fragility almost overnight.

René captures it here:

“If they don’t get the emotions right, there’s no structure in the world that will keep them together.”

As coaches, this is the human layer we explore. The undercurrent of emotion isn’t a weakness, it’s the fuel that either propels growth or ignites implosion.

Accountability, Agility, and the ‘Barcelona Rules’

The most successful family businesses have learned that emotional intelligence must live side-by-side with structural clarity. René refers to this as “the Barcelona Rules” – where next-generation family members must earn their position, prove their worth externally, and apply through the same process as any other candidate.

This isn’t cold-hearted. It’s disciplined love.

It protects the family’s reputation, ensures accountability, and – most importantly – keeps the business cashflow positive while it grows.

Without it, emotion runs unchecked, and confusion around who does what breeds costly chaos.

From Locker Room to Boardroom

Aside from our shared passion for rugby, this is where our worlds align.

In elite sport, high performance isn’t just about talent – it’s about trust, role clarity, and communication under pressure. The same principles apply to leadership teams in privately owned businesses.

In sport, accountability is non-negotiable: you’re either contributing to the team’s success or you’re not.

In family-run enterprise, often family or emotional ties can cloud that same clarity.

High-performing companies, especially those privately held or founder-led, understand that leadership is a skill that requires coaching, reflection, and emotional agility. It’s not a one-off; it’s a cultural investment.

Why CEOs, Founders and Leadership Teams Need Coaches Too

When René became the youngest Managing Director at UBS, he asked himself a simple but radical question:

“If top athletes have coaches, why shouldn’t top executives?”

It’s a question every CEO should be asking today.

The world’s best leaders don’t hire coaches because they’re broken, they hire them because they’re driven. They understand that sustained success isn’t about being the smartest in the room, it’s about being the most self-aware.

High performance, whether on the field or in the boardroom, is built on feedback, trust, and disciplined reflection.

The Real Cost of Ignoring the Elephant

Many family-owned businesses eventually face the same critical moments:

The next generation is ready, but not aligned.
The matriarch or patriarch is reluctant to step back.
The business is thriving but communication is eroding.
Growth is possible but fear, ego, or family politics are holding it back.

Ignoring these elephants doesn’t just create tension – it costs time, money, and legacy.

Coaching isn’t a luxury in these moments; it’s a lifeline. It’s the difference between a family business that endures for generations and one that capitulates under it's own emotional weight.

Emotional Intelligence: The Competitive Advantage

In this conversation, René reminds us that emotional intelligence isn’t a soft skill; it’s a business strategy.

When CEOs and leadership teams develop emotional literacy, they create:

Stronger trust across teams and generations
Clearer accountability and sustainable governance
Healthier communication that drives decisions, not division
A legacy culture where people thrive, not just perform

These are the pillars of modern high-performance leadership. They’re what transform a small business into a generational enterprise.

Key Takeaways: When Trust Is the Strategy

Family First, then Business: Emotional clarity drives financial clarity.
Accountability Builds Agility: Define roles, responsibilities, and rules — before crisis forces them.
Normalise Coaching: High-performing leaders invest in being coached, not managed.
Emotional Intelligence is ROI: EQ drives stronger governance, resilience, and team alignment.
Trust is the True Currency: Without psychological safety, growth is impossible.

Safety, trust, and authenticity aren’t buzzwords; they’re the foundation of every high-performing business – whether you’re managing a sports team, a legacy family enterprise, or a fast-scaling founder-led company.

Because in every boardroom, just like every locker room, performance is personal.

Sometimes, the most valuable thing a leader can do is invite a coach in to help them see the elephants.

About René Sonneveld

René Sonneveld is a leadership and family governance specialist, executive coach, and author of The Elephant in the Family Room – available on Amazon and all major platforms. He works globally with families, founders, and boards to navigate the emotional and structural complexities of family-owned enterprises.

Learn more at renesonneveld.com.